I’m not sure how we’re going to cope this next couple weeks in the capital…
The increased footfall – yep. Ok the transport network will be stretched, it’s true.
Prices in the capital are set to sky rocket in the next 2 months – we don’t do sly ‘native price’ here. Everyone pays the premium. On everything.
None of that is what’s worrying me as much as 1 thing though: – how are all those deck shoes, espadrilles
and plimsolls gonna hold up in the wet weather?
The Musings caught up with some commuters, London’s heartbeat:
Tara from Harrow: “I’m not trying to be racist but these foreigners don’t know abaat designers and that do they!!? I see some of em in some weird clothes (lol) – seriously though, I’ve just had my toenails done and I’m gonna show em off whether it’s raining or not. They should have tubes for English people only – for us to get to work and go out n that without getting our pedicures destroyed by size 9 feet -that’s just the women ffs!? A bit of lip threading wouldn’t kill em either, y’know!”
Hugo from Chelsea seemed less riled up. Very much relaxed about the whole thing : “I’m looking forward to a few dirty muddy footprints on my new coke-white Vans. Im quite big news on the used / grunge / tramp-chic scene actually.. ” after scanning for sarcasm, we delved deeper..
The Musings: sorry? Did you just call me a tramp? Also – how do you feel about the hoody clampdown being mooted by the style authorities?
Hugo: I tend to just offer them cocaine if they come home with me tbh. I do like a good, dirty, kappa slapper but clamping them down seems a bit strong, ya?
The Musings: thanks Hugo
We spoke to some tourists in town for Wimbledon:
The Musings: hi first time in London? Have you heard anything about the style fail epidemic?
Tourists: hi! Yeah 1st time here – really? We heard London was style capital of the world!? Y’all really love your fashion!?
:Actually we’ve just been clothes shopping
The Musings: Nice! Pick up any decent bits?
Fanny: I went to Superdry to get some sandals and thongs – I think y’all call ‘em flip-flops or something like that. Chet likes Jack Wills..
The Musings: don’t we all… Tell me, Chet, whats your plan to deal with the weather here? There’s an old south London saying that goes: “it’s too fucking wet to be wearing sandals, you fool” that, personally, I live by..
Chet: huh? I have wet feet sure, but, y’know, “when in Rome..”
The Musings: Splendid. Thanks guys.
On the way back to South London we bumped into Steve, an Edmunton native who seemed a long way out of his comfort zone, judging from body language.
The musings: excuse me sorry to bother you – I just had a few questions about your… Are you ok?
Steve: Fuck Me!? Drop me out mate I’m just trying to get back to civilisation!
The musings: where are you headed?
Steve: as far North as this bus goes mate!? Fucking nutcases live ’round here. Touched in the head, the lot of ‘em. They even dress like nutters.. *shaking head slowly*
The Musings: that’s what I want to ask you about tbh. I noticed your outfit and assumed you’d not bumped into the style police just yet. It’s possible you used the brylcream to give them the slip I suppose but I digress; where do you get your influences from, fashion wise? I notice you have on some pumps, for instance. Its actually flooded right here where we are now – do you regret he decision to wear soft nylon,Well, plimsolls – if we are being honest.. How do you decide what to wear on your feet of a day time?
Steve: I see that Mark wright wearing low-cut v-neck tops and Ugg boots – he gets loads o’ fanny.. It’s too hot for boots so I got some converses on today
The Musings: can you explain the leggings briefly?
Steve: mate they’re brilliant! Elasticated waist, look like jeans, but they’re lighter and the hem sits lovely on mi pumps
The Musings: is that a popular look for men in your area then? Don’t see too many guys in leggings where I live..
Steve: to be honest, I’m at that ‘level’ when it comes to clobber. You know.. I don’t really follow people in my area. They’re still wearing Burberry caps and that. Its shocking..
The Musings: indeed. Have you been interviewed by the style marshals or?
Steve: (laughs) nar bruv, I told you – I’m up there with JLS and Mark Wright..
London resident ‘x’ didn’t want to be identified. She cites reality tv for the level of fashion fail in London and, by extension, The World.. “it’s all these metrosexuals and closet gays” she proclaimed. “problem is, these idiot young girls love effeminate men! The more pastel colours and threaded eyebrows, the better – it seems. I remember a time when men smelt terrible and basically needed a make over for you to face em every morning.. Now you can’t get in the bathroom and if you do – you catch him waxing his chest or putting on guy-liner and nail-polish…”
Brixtonite Coleen had a refreshing take on the fashion scene and the imminent cull: mi nuh bodda wid dem deh fuckery marma man. Mandem fi favour MAN, you nuh see it? Bounty Killah done talk – bad man nuh dress like girlllllll! (starts dancing) we nuh bore nose and nuh wear tight pants and… We nuh wear drop curlllllll … ” I’m sure, in fact I know – this kind of sight is common in Brixton. Sadly, the people at St Paul’s took exception to the profanity and, after some resistance, Coleen was promptly arrested.
My favourite ‘interview’ was a guy named “D-Rock” who hailed from Camden. He didn’t like my line of questioning I guess..
The Musings: hey, I’m just doing some research for my blog. It’s on fashion in London and I..
D-Rock: *scoff* this should be good.. (looks me up and down)
The Musings: er.. Thanks .. So I noticed your outfit, especially your..
D-Rock: Yeah, it’s not a big deal really I live in Camden, so..
The Musings: sorry?
D-Rock: don’t apologise, you weren’t to know where ya! Yeah …I’m quite relevant, you know? Camden, as I say..
The Musings: Quite. Can I just ask you about footwear especially with the rain etc at the moment – I notice you’ve got the white hi top converses on today. I love hi tops but I also notice you’ve been caught in a puddle or two..
D-Rock: I’ll stop you there. These are actually vintage. From like ’83. They’ve literally been worn in Brooklyn. New York?!. Thanks..
The Musings: erm.. Ok. You’ve had a good wear out if them then. Did you buy them in Brooklyn you’re saying?
D-Rock: are you taking the piss or are you just dense??! I got them down the exchange at Brick Lane. Obviously. I was about 7 in ’83 you idiot.
The Musings: (lol) forgive me, my mistake. So… Checked shirts buttoned up to the top and a body warmer.. Skinny jeans notwithstanding, is that look still ‘relevant’ as you say, then?
D-Rock: Look, fuck off, yeah. Just because you cant afford a bit of Hollister and Abercrombie won’t let you in their shop – don’t be bitter!
The Musings: yes, you’re right. I should face up to myself and my jealousy at not being able to fit in with the truly cool people in this city.. Nice earring btw, I hear hoops are back…
I thought I’d give up for the day and got the train to Croydon on the way home. At the taxi rank I got talking to some people and met a man whose name I forget now.
Taxi stand man: the thing with me is, I like buying new gear. Love a new pair of trainers, got a nice bit of trapstar today actually. I like the ‘Unique’ look bruv!
The Musings: (sarcasm scan) did you just tell me there’s a look people subscribe to that’s actually called ‘unique’? Isn’t that an oxymoron or something? How can it be unique if lots of people dress the same..
Taxi stand man: Look mate, I dunno about subscriptions or nuffin’ I ain’t been doctors in years. I’m just pissed off my brazilian espadrilles look all manky now. These ankle socks are pissing me off as well now tbh.
So, as I feared.. It looks like London is going to have a big problem this ‘summer’. My advice: scotch-guard your plimsolls; make sure your converses have a back-story and, most importantly: Men and Espadrilles should stay apart.